- Writing is a way of life -
Perfect Endings?

I’ve always hated the feeling of things left unsaid or unfinished in my relationships and friendships. At times, my attempts at resolution have resulted in more confusion. I have come to the conclusion that parts of of these unsettled relationships will always be unfinished, and some things always left unsaid. When it comes to personal relationships, I don’t believe in the word “closure”, at least not while we are alive.  Ask anyone who has lost someone close to them – through death or the ending of a relationship. Death does offer closure to the dead, but the living carry questions and doubts that can forever come and go: “Did I do enough?”, “Was I there enough?”, “Did I love enough?”, “Did I ….?”.  There is a longing for one last conversation, one last embrace, one last I love you. The same can be said of broken relationships. I’m learning to accept what is, not what was or what could have been. Only what is. I’m learning to forgive myself – no one gets it right all the time – how boring our existence would be if we did.  I’ve not always been graceful with relationship endings – sometimes they have been messy and furious on a grand scale. Not a stumble, but a belly flop from the high dive, an all out high speed face plant. Then I  get up, wipe myself off and think, “Holy shit what the hell was that all about?”, as I move on to another mistake or worse yet, repeating the same one again – the epitome of bare bones stupid. Hopefully, after being knocked around a few times, I get it and realize some stones are better left unturned, some sunrises and sunsets are not meant to be seen, some things are better left unfinished, some words unsaid. Leave it alone. Stop feeding it and eventually it will starve to death, leaving our soul intact. Sometimes the unsaid speaks louder than anything we can say and the unfinished is the perfect ending. People who are meant and deserve to be in our lives will be. The beauty and ugly of it all is the who and what is our choice. So, choose wisely, live well and be well.

 

Comment(s) (4)

  1. Jessie

    I like this Nina. Especially the last two sentences.

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