- Writing is a way of life -
The Messy…

I’m messy! Not messy as in my surroundings, but messy as in my heart and in my head. The more  I accept this messiness, the more I’m at peace with the messy and the happier I am. I’ve come to believe that life is not one neat little package to be opened, defined and understood. but a series of explorations and encounters – sometimes uncomfortable – that challenge me to question, to discover and to unveil all the hidden secrets and truths that deep in my soul I know to be true. Unveiling, uncovering, getting naked with who and what I am.  It’s quite fascinating what we can find.  What was my calling? What is my calling?  Am I trapped in a life not yet lived? Living life by societies standards – standards others have set for us can sometimes disadvantage us before we even get started That is a life not yet lived. So many of us are searching for something – seeking enlightenment, seeking some sort of freedom form this life. Hell, I want to experience the trials and tribulations of life over and over again. If enlightenment means freeing myself from this life, then what is the point of enlightenment? I would rather keep messing up and learning by trial and error till I somehow get it right. That’s many lifetimes away, so I’m not worried about that happening any time soon. For me, compassion is enlightenment, kindness is moksha and love is freedom.  I don’t believe these are things to be “attained”, it’s just who we are.  I love all this messiness, all this craziness, all this passion and all the humanly desires. Does this make me less evolved? Do I care? No, I sure as hell don’t, because with true life’s experiences of the ever changing contrast of  happiness and pain, love and  heartbreak,  peace and absolute destruction – I know I’m alive, completely and absolutely alive. What greater joy is there?  I’m not looking for nirvana, moksha or enlightenment any time soon. I want to live, feel and love with reckless, unguarded abandon. That is living, that is life, that is why I get up in the morning. I’m too curious to give all that up for the promise of eternal bliss – especially since I experience eternal bliss in the here and now of forever! Live well, be well and love well right here, right now, with no promises of a happily ever after that may be a happily ever never!


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